About Jamy:

I am proud to introduce my son Jamy P. Zonio. He had just turned five (March 26th) and is a big brother to a nine-month-old baby.

I always thought that he was a difficult kid. It takes a lot of energy to care for him. He loves running around, outdoor activities, animals, and plants; so friendly that the people from the other block know him (kids and adults).

He was my baby until one day he stopped asking for my help. Maybe because I kept on telling him he should start being responsible for himself since he is already five (my intention was to teach him about being independent). He started washing himself, feeding himself, and taking a bath all by himself. There I thought that I would have it easy.

It all sank into me that he was brokenhearted. I no longer take care of him the same old way, what’s worse is he saw his father on the streets when he was playing outside and his dad did not even care to at least say hi to him. He had this deep sadness during his last days here on earth. Imagine that sorrow on a barely five-year-old.

He got bacterial meningitis and within four days, I lost him.

I am flooded with the thought of bad times he had with me. I’m constantly reminded of how I was yelling at him because I was frustrated with the situation. How I thought he was just acting up. I said, Lord, how was I so terrible? How did I hurt a precious little one? I was the first person he loved and I am also the first to terribly break his heart. No, no matter how and what, I should not have vented my frustrations to him. 

Jamy likes to give me flowers. He likes to hug and kiss a lot. He likes to say I love you out of the blue. His love language is physical touch. I regret not holding his hand a lot during the last days. I regret not being intentional. Oh boy, I will have this sudden constant sick and empty feeling and regret until my last breath.

Scripture that encouraged me: 

“And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:42-43 KJV

I hold on to this scripture because it assures me that my son is not just waiting for the resurrection at the second coming of Christ. He is already in the perfect presence of Jesus and being loved and cared for so much more than what I want to offer and cannot give. He must be so happy running around without danger ahead. He can have it all, he can explore and discover unlimited. 

How I’ve seen God’s faithfulness:

I am a Christian, but I grew to be lukewarm when I got married to the father of my kids. I got lost in the Christian walk. Although it hurts to the very core of my soul, I am blessed and thankful that this tragedy happened for a purpose. Not only I, but all the family members of my son who lived in the dark, even his father, are searching and running back to God. We are looking forward to reuniting in heaven and we are working hard to keep our faith. Jamy was used as a vessel to save not only me, but all those who love him. I put a rest to this pain, let go, and let God.